Second Chance Idol - Nothing Good can come of this

[eeyore_grrl]

Broken

i sip from the bottle of broken dreams
i know that nothing good will come of this
that i will only feel better, number for thirty seconds
that he’ll know I’ve been drinking the second he lays eyes on me

nothing good ever comes from the burning of my throat
				       the numbing of my mind

so i set my sights towards healing
prescription antidepressants, sleeping concoctions, 10,000 steps a day

i focus on my son’s giggle, my fiance’s eyes, and little things to occupy my mind
logic puzzles, and coloring books, a kindle full of stories
baths in a soapy cauldron of steam and scent
candlelight. 

i wish to smash the bottle, quench the burning
live my life
		fully

i pick up the bottle
sip
sip
sip
nothing good can come of this

-------
This is an entry for Second Change Idol, The topic: Nothing Good Will Come of This.
Yes, it's true, I got voted out of the main contest and am now in the secondary contest that I don't fully understand...

Comments

[kehlen-crow.livejournal.com]

I like your poem. Are you talking about yourself in it?

[jenny_evergreen]

Well done.

[myrna-bird.livejournal.com]

I like that you listed several positive alternatives to the drink.
This was nicely done.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I like this, but if you don't mind me making a minor suggestion here:

that i will only feel better, number for thirty seconds
that he’ll know I’ve been drinking the second he lays eyes on me

I'd suggest changing your 2nd "second" to moment or minute, just to avoid repetitiveness.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

You bring a valid point. I will change it for future use of the poem, but won't here, now.

Thanks.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Such spare, airy sentences but the sense of being stuck and trying to get UNstuck is incredibly clear here.

[phoenixejc.livejournal.com]

Nice take on the topic.

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

*hugs*