come on down to the Mermaid Cafe

				my mount rushmore




built of alabaster i wanted more
tired of hiding inside my own mind & skin
							(cowering)
		   i wanted . . .  more

				so 
      i built my own mount rushmore

	i became this canvas with stories to tell 
		i became more than i was born to be
			i became extra-ordinary 
				i found myself

the forget-me-not fairy graces me with her presence
	reminding me that i am not alone
		move after move
			lost friendship after lost friendship
		she stays with me 
			whispering that i am worthy of being known
										(and remembered)


a dove holds a vine wrapping around my arm
	peace and christ
	olive branch and promise
	gentle reminders of my grandmother 
	& the episcopal church i was raised in 
					(that gave me comfort in ritual)
			an oasis from chaos

		-- but from a distance
			at an angle, the leaves look sharp
				because everything has edges

black parenthetical waves hug me in safety
my foot bears my pentagram
	always here; always blessing
	even when i barely believe any longer

kanji words and orchids float on waves of aqua

				new
				song
				survive

because i had tried to die one too many times
& had the scars to prove it
		& it was high time i live

my fairy felt forgotten so now she has a friend 
	sitting beside her is the beech tree fairy
	when we sit for tea it is forget, and beech, and i
		he speaks to me of writing and the written word
		those are what he protects

at least one more are in my future
	one i know and only have to plan
	but carving art into the alabaster of my skin
	is permanent and potent and everything i want it to be