ljidol week 3 prompt : ecco (italian: here it is, like right now, being presented)

[eeyore_grrl]

ljidol week 3 prompt : ecco (italian: here it is, like right now, being presented)

                              ECCO

         (ECHO ECCo ECho Ecco echo)
i can't see you in this hall of mirrors
i cannot hear you in this empty chamber
i can't feel you on my skin from across the ages
i cannot taste your kisses
         (anymore)

you were my first love
tall, blonde, and naive
you were a best friend
knowing me way back when
you were my everything 
(and my nothing)
you have been a homing point for 33 years
camping in fields of folkies
kissing in basements
sharing stories of next loves 
as we grew into adulthood
what do i do when you move to another
        		hemisphere

         (ECCO ECHo ECco Echo ecco)
the time nigh
and off you go
you will always be my first
			  first love
			  first touch
			  first to know so many of my secrets
and here we are 
		adults in our own right
	spouses and children to love and protect
and you’re leaving me
i can’t say that i blame you
	i don’t know how much you still care
though i’ve kept a chamber of my heart open
just for you
	moving forward and moving on 
do you know 
that you helped create who i am 
today
	(the strength and the love)
		do you know 
that i still care
and these echo chambers will fall silent
	these halls of mirrors will shatter fast
		skin will dry and crack from lack of your hug
and you
        you shall be happy
	building new halls and chambers
	        touching the skin of the one that fits you
		in a land of your choice
			so far away from me
i believe in the choices we have made
	i believe that we have arrived
		   that we are here
             and you will always be 
    an ecco in my heart

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Comments

[muchtooarrogant]

Loss of your first love is always so difficult. Great entry.

Dan

[eeyore_grrl]

the list of echos are spelt e c c o. e c h o. switching on and off.

[eeyore_grrl]

thanks. the distance is so huge

[static_abyss]

I love that you include yourself reading these poems, and I think I've said it before, but I love hearing the differences in how you read your poem and how I read it. The poem itself was lovely. The structure of the 3rd stanza was SO good. It hit me right in the heart.

[eeyore_grrl]

you are welcome and thank you. :D i've also said before and can't say enough! poetry is meant to be read AND heard! that's how you know what it feels like...

[krispykritter]

I loved earing this poem in your voice and not with my screenreader! So sad and haunting.

[eeyore_grrl]

oh i bet! so much more emotion! the thing is, i did take some poetic license on how strong or current some of those feelings are, but at the same time.... i still love all my past loves; if that makes sense?

[krispykritter]

Yes it makes total sense. I feel the same about mine.

[adoptedwriter]

This is bittersweet and well said.

[eeyore_grrl]

that was the hope. i do still love him. he was my first love and a best friend. i will always love him and part of my heart will always go to him. but it isn't like i'm IN love with him. it's just that he was so formative. ya know?

[simplyn2deep]

This poem is haunting and tender, echoing with the ache of first love and the quiet devastation of parting. The repetition of *ecco/echo* beautifully captures the lingering presence of someone who shaped your very being, even as they move beyond reach. It's a love letter to memory and growth, full of longing, gratitude, and the bittersweet courage it takes to let go.

[eeyore_grrl]

thank you. you got the right gist. it isn't supposed to be /sad/ but bittersweet. still debating if i share it with him. we're still friends.

[serpentinejacaranda]

I appreciate your words on the page and the command you have of them in your performance! Love poetry that echoes! Dig that too.

[eeyore_grrl]

thank you. i was worried that the echo/ecco would be too... obvious.... but i think it works? years of teaching help with the command of performance.

[adore]

i believe in the choices we have made
i believe that we have arrived
that we are here

I love the poem, and these are my favourite lines! There is such power in believing that you made the best choices you could at the time. <3

[eeyore_grrl]

aww thank you. that line is the line that is supposed to tell you that i am not, like, still IN love with him or anything, just that i still love him... ya know? still care. we made the right choices. moving on from 17/18 year old choices was correct.

[roina_arwen]

One’s first love and loss is always bittersweet. Nicely done.

[eeyore_grrl]

thanks. my next big question is do i share it with him?

[roina_arwen]

I can’t answer that for you. Much would depend on the solidity of your current relationship, and would sharing it make things awkward between you? It might also depend on how much he appreciates poetry - not everyone “gets” it. Just a few things to consider.

[xeena]

this was beautiful and made me cry

[eeyore_grrl]

awww. i didn't mean it for tears, but poetry does what it wants; like all art. we usually go to lunch every few/six months, but now i won't have that which is what brought on this poem.

[xeena]

it was absolutely meant as a compliment! it's so touching and beautiful. it made me think of my first love who unfortunately passed away and how special that first love is <3

[bleodswean]

I really enjoyed this! Relatable and a clever use of the prompt. Well done!

[eeyore_grrl]

thank you so much. i was worried that the echo/ecco would be too... obvious.

[fausts_dream]

There are some of us that dabble from time to time I'm one of them.

Only a few really legit poets in here clearly you're among that number

[eeyore_grrl]

It is a rare, rare sight for me not to write poetry. Thank you for the compliment!