just maybe

[eeyore_grrl]

			just maybe

i ain’t no panglossian pollyanna 
i fall into the muck and mire that surrounds me
my eyelids 
	show christmas past 
	mixed with the nightmares of a child grown

i ain’t no mother theresa on my way to sainthood
	having dedicated my life to helping, to saving, to giving
	i am too jaded to be always optimistic
        too fallible to walk the road to sainthood 
		or to become an american classic of sweetness and naivete

i am so very, very human

maybe i should meditate more
	practice my sun salutations to greet each morning
	drink smoothies made with kale harvested from my garden
	sing songs of hope while i dance naked in the bone-white light of the moon
	
maybe i should reach deeply in my psyche to find peace and a smile
	a smile so big, and so honest, that my troubles will crumble 
		the corners of my mouth will be so sharp that my fears will run and hide
		lips so plump and soft that adversarial words will use them for pillows
			and become no more than a wisp of a bad dream

or maybe i should decorate my christmas tree with throwing stars
	arming myself, protecting my family 
	drawing blood from those who trespass
	breaking limbs of those who hurt us
	(defense, defense, defense)
	
everything is a threat when hatred glosses my eyes
everything is dangerous when ptsd blinds me

i ain’t no panglossian pollyana believing that all is good
		 that all bad happens for a reason and so much good is on the way
			so very much good

but i am armed with a smile of hello
	arms to enfold you in comfort and warmth
		and the will to create a better future

maybe there is some pollyanna in me after all 


just maybe

This was written for LiveJournal Idol, Friends and Rivals mini-season. This week's ridiculously difficult topic had several ridiculously hard topics to choose from. After much thought and false starts and staring at blank page and blank screen my muse caved. The above is what you get. Barely making the deadline. *phew*

Comments

[noodledays.livejournal.com]

I like the rhythm of it. and I'm glad your muse finally spoke up. :)

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks. She goes silent fairly often. We're working on a compromise.

[logical-fallacy.livejournal.com]

I'll trade you! My muse is usually so loud it's hard to focus enough to write. Although the last time I offered a trade, said muse became very upset and wouldn't speak with me for weeks.

So anyway, good luck with that. <3

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this batch of prompts was challenging indeed. But you did well here! :)

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Seriously. I worked on it. Was going to take a bye, realized that the submission date was further off than i realized. Worked and thought on it. Bitched about it. FINALLY got a line to work from (I ain't no panglossian pollyanna). I was hella scared of a vote though.

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

Incredibly powerful.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

I can wallow or I can find things to smile about. I am doing me best to smile.

[inteus-mika.livejournal.com]

Pollyana may not be quite reality, but a little positive goes a long way. Good to know there's some in there.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

You did a good job here nevertheless..:)

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

It's impossible to be a Pollyanna if you've experienced something truly terrible, but trying to find your way back in that direction... a gift to yourself and everyone you're able to greet with love. I wish you success on the continuing journey.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[tijuanagringo.livejournal.com]

It is good to see a poem here! I wish more people would take the chance and write in verse.

Yeah, I ain't no panglossian pollyanna either, but...

like you, some hope leads me to give hugs and sometimes even

fall in love

.

Thanks for your write ! Enjoyed.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks. i typically write poetry; Much more rare for me to go the route of prose. It's a thing.

Hugs. Hugs are good. So is love. Hope is a wonderful thing. :-)

Here, have a hug, (hug)

[logical-fallacy.livejournal.com]

I feel you on the staring at a blank page. I'm glad you managed to come up with something. I like the idea of a Christmas tree decorated with throwing stars. :D

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

That could look cool. Though, with a kid and 2 cats, and me being a clutz of immense proportion, this could be a bad idea around here.

You could get coat hangers though:

http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=ninja+star+coat+hangers&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=50207664115&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17189935357582467004&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_5z4ylvh85h_b

[logical-fallacy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have a kid and a cat and also that whole clumsiness thing -- probably not the best idea for me, either. A girl can dream, though. :)

[dmousey.livejournal.com]

Nice flow- the first few stanza's I thought you had written song lyrics! Ah Muses are stubborn these days, some disturbance to the force? (Laughing)

Peace~~~D

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

I think most people can sympathize with this poem. Happy New Year!

[murielle.livejournal.com]

This is fantastic!

I can't quote because I have so many "loves" in this poem I be quoting the whole poem, but I must quote this because I adore it:

"a smile so big, and so honest, that my troubles will crumble
the corners of my mouth will be so sharp that my fears will run and hide
lips so plump and soft that adversarial words will use them for pillows"

I love all of it!