Magnifying Glass (LJ Idol week 12)

[eeyore_grrl]

 

				the glass

look closer

look closer still

look beneath the rich white armor

see my tattoos?
see the scars that they hide?
	and the ones that they don’t?

follow the lines 
		    they tell a story
       when studied 
		    with a magnifying glass

	they tell of a woman broken young
		  of a girl who believed razor blades could calm her
		  of a person who simply saw too much
					       felt too much
	they tell my story

look closer still 
             at aches and pains
	a broken tailbone from ninth grade
	a broken toe from the car’s engine block
	an ache in my neck 
				from breaking a windshield with my shoulder
	my hip malfunctioned during pregnancy
				walking still hurts
	those migraines, i’m told, have no answer
				can you find one?

and don’t forget the unmentionable maladies
	the depression and the anxiety
	the stress and the insomnia

look at the drugs coursing through my bloodstream
	all prescribed at my weekly psychiatrist visit
		because underneath this rich white armor
			lies a little girl filled with sadness
			      a little girl who keeps fighting and clawing her way out
		because underneath the strong role-model
			lies a little girl hoping no one brings a magnifying glass

And, of course, a video of me in at my kitchen table reading this poem.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfOTJb_j8v0&feature=youtu.be
----------------
This was written for LJ Idol Exhibit A Week 11. I am one of the remaining 6 contestants. Please read more talented folk at http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/642519.html. Entries are due Monday evening.

There will be a vote starting Monday evening. Read. Vote. Or just read some of the talent out there in the world.

Read the other five entries and vote for your favorite here: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/643566.html

Comments

[myrna-bird.livejournal.com]

Wow. I think this is just beautiful.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I take "wow" as a serious compliment.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Love you. Thank you.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

You are welcome. Thank you for reading.

[audreybuttercup.livejournal.com]

:hugs you: Oh my friend we think so much alike. I share your hurt.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Small LJ Idol world/topic for us it seems... :-/ (hugs back)

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Glad I'm not the only one who decided to turn hurt into beauty, strength.

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

I like your use of repetition and your concrete details.

Like you, I get migraines and have never figured out why.

[eeyore-grrl.livejournal.com]

Some people have obvious triggers, I wish I did then I would know what to avoid! Sorry you get them too!

Repetition, when used, well can be very strong. That's what I was going for.

[impoetry.livejournal.com]

This is beautifully heartbreaking. My favorite of your poems thus far. It seems many of us have so much in common. Well, I'm not a girl (don't hold it against me!).

We've all seen so much, suffered through so much. *Bigs hugs. Thanks for being here, thanks for being brave enough to share.

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

Very powerful.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

I see that you and audreybuttercup have had some of the same thoughts about the pain underneath the surface, and all the ways you try to find a way to move through it.

Both of you are still here, and the world is better for it. Your strength is working for you, for your family. Going forward is the best way to ensure that.

[theun4givables.livejournal.com]

I think this may be your strongest poem yet. :) Definitely a great way to take the prompt and this piece is certainly filled with lots of emotion.