LJ Idol 10 - Week 3 - Brushback Pitch

[eeyore_grrl]

(It's a contestant only vote this week, but you can read the other entries at http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/958277.html )

            brushback pitch


we should be better than this
i should be better than this
but tonight i don’t believe


should i put it in baseball terms?
	is that all-american enough?


right now the bases are loaded at the bottom of the 9th
with two strikes
the score is 5-4


i stand, bat up
	i stand, batter up
the throw is wild
	but controlled
	a brushback pitch, i’m told
		so close i can smell the leather
		so close my skin bears the marks of its stitching
	i jump
		trying for bodily safety


THREE STRIKES YOU’RE OUT
	
it’s as easy as that 
	i flinched 	
			game over

Comments

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

I was right there at the plate with ya!

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

"so close i can smell the leather
so close my skin bears the marks of its stitching"
This explains the term so well. Loved these lines. A good take!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

These were my favorite lines, as well!

[sinnamongirl.livejournal.com]

Beautiful yet again!

[magazhchi.livejournal.com]

A nice way to use the prompt. I enjoyed listening to it.

[my-name-is-jenn.livejournal.com]

Very nice.

[dmousey.livejournal.com]

Love Spoken Word! Nicely done! Hug and peace! ~~~D

[murielle.livejournal.com]

Wow! This is so good. A metaphorical exact use of the prompt! Excellent! Let me try to word that better...an exact use of the prompt as a metaphor. Well done! Brava!

[uselesstinrelic.livejournal.com]

I love that you perform these. I honestly don't understand baseball very well at all so hearing the inflections you use and when you pause helps paint some emotions for me that the terms and imagery in the piece can't convey to me without your voice.