Chronic Pain and Opiates; An Essay
May. 23rd, 2016 10:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eeyore_grrlLet’s talk about chronic pain. It sucks. Like, sucks tacks through bendy straws. It’s constant. It hurts. It’s not going to go away.
Now let’s talk about opiate/pain pill addiction. That also sucks. Like, for real. Like down and dirty real suckitude.
One of the above can kill you outright, the other can make you want to die; perhaps even leading you to suicide.
There has been a lot of talk about opiate addiction in the wake of Prince’s death. Right now we don’t know how he died, but we do know how he lived. We have his amazing discography. We have an artist who defied being button-holed. We have a black man that many people respected. And we now have a death that may or may not have been due to an overdose. It’s been documented that he had chronic intense hip pain and likely had opiates for pain relief.
That’s where I come in. That’s where I have an opinion about this. So now let’s talk about me. I have had chronic pain for the last six and a half years. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 3 years ago. This means, basically, that I hurt all the time. Sometimes it goes to a dull pain that I can ignore and go about life without added problem. Sometimes it roars and stabs and makes breathing and thinking and being hurt to a level that it is all I know. I can’t think past the pain. A couple years ago my pain all but disappeared for a few months and I was able to go backpacking and sleep in sleeping bag on the ground and hike miles with a backpack. It was great. But the pain came back. Lately it seems to be all flare all the time. I’m exhausted. I hurt. I can focus past the pain during the day to get what I need to get done done. But then I pay for it at night and live in painsomnia (insomnia caused by severe pain). And some days I can’t get past it and I feel like all I am doing is languishing.
It’s a pretty miserable way to be, way to live. I do all the alternative therapies that help and try new ones on a regular basis. Yoga helped but currently my knees are shot (working on that in PT). Chiropractic. Deep Tissue Massage. Hot Tub or Scalding Baths. Ice packs. Stretching. Meditation. Capsaicin. Lidocaine patches. TENS unit. Voltaren Gel. See now we are getting into medication territory. I’m on one of the three fibro approved meds plus another page and a half of medication as needed for fibro or depression.
So when I am in so much pain I can’t parent or sleep or do what needs to be done I have prescriptions for NorCo and Soma. And half the time they barely touch the pain. But they do calm it enough that I can go on living. That I can get past the moments where all I am is pain. All I am is these misfiring nerve cells telling me that I hurt. So my doctor gives me scripts for 45 NorCo and 30 Soma. I pee in a cup now for the privilege of hurting less. For the privilege of being able to walk my son to school. Or the privilege of standing in line at the DMV. Or the privilege of being able to get myself to the doctor to talk about my pain.
I am not an addict so why do I have to be treated like one? And if I was an addict just taking a prescription away would not “cure” me. Let’s talk about rehabilitation (and not just the cult of AA). There have been studies showing that many (most?) people will not become addicted and/or can walk away if they have a happy place to go to. You can read about Rat Park here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park. So instead of shaming everyone maybe we should help our fellow humans. Those in chronic pain and those who are addicts. Even those who are both.
The main point here is this: someone other than me telling my doctor that I don’t need any opiates for my pain is not fair. “You” don’t know my pain and if my pain gets out of control and I am incapable of getting past it to get things done I will historically self-medicate because fibromyalgia can hurt. A lot. So, sure, I’ll try yoga and TENS units… but that isn’t enough.
Now let’s talk about opiate/pain pill addiction. That also sucks. Like, for real. Like down and dirty real suckitude.
One of the above can kill you outright, the other can make you want to die; perhaps even leading you to suicide.
There has been a lot of talk about opiate addiction in the wake of Prince’s death. Right now we don’t know how he died, but we do know how he lived. We have his amazing discography. We have an artist who defied being button-holed. We have a black man that many people respected. And we now have a death that may or may not have been due to an overdose. It’s been documented that he had chronic intense hip pain and likely had opiates for pain relief.
That’s where I come in. That’s where I have an opinion about this. So now let’s talk about me. I have had chronic pain for the last six and a half years. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 3 years ago. This means, basically, that I hurt all the time. Sometimes it goes to a dull pain that I can ignore and go about life without added problem. Sometimes it roars and stabs and makes breathing and thinking and being hurt to a level that it is all I know. I can’t think past the pain. A couple years ago my pain all but disappeared for a few months and I was able to go backpacking and sleep in sleeping bag on the ground and hike miles with a backpack. It was great. But the pain came back. Lately it seems to be all flare all the time. I’m exhausted. I hurt. I can focus past the pain during the day to get what I need to get done done. But then I pay for it at night and live in painsomnia (insomnia caused by severe pain). And some days I can’t get past it and I feel like all I am doing is languishing.
It’s a pretty miserable way to be, way to live. I do all the alternative therapies that help and try new ones on a regular basis. Yoga helped but currently my knees are shot (working on that in PT). Chiropractic. Deep Tissue Massage. Hot Tub or Scalding Baths. Ice packs. Stretching. Meditation. Capsaicin. Lidocaine patches. TENS unit. Voltaren Gel. See now we are getting into medication territory. I’m on one of the three fibro approved meds plus another page and a half of medication as needed for fibro or depression.
So when I am in so much pain I can’t parent or sleep or do what needs to be done I have prescriptions for NorCo and Soma. And half the time they barely touch the pain. But they do calm it enough that I can go on living. That I can get past the moments where all I am is pain. All I am is these misfiring nerve cells telling me that I hurt. So my doctor gives me scripts for 45 NorCo and 30 Soma. I pee in a cup now for the privilege of hurting less. For the privilege of being able to walk my son to school. Or the privilege of standing in line at the DMV. Or the privilege of being able to get myself to the doctor to talk about my pain.
I am not an addict so why do I have to be treated like one? And if I was an addict just taking a prescription away would not “cure” me. Let’s talk about rehabilitation (and not just the cult of AA). There have been studies showing that many (most?) people will not become addicted and/or can walk away if they have a happy place to go to. You can read about Rat Park here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park. So instead of shaming everyone maybe we should help our fellow humans. Those in chronic pain and those who are addicts. Even those who are both.
The main point here is this: someone other than me telling my doctor that I don’t need any opiates for my pain is not fair. “You” don’t know my pain and if my pain gets out of control and I am incapable of getting past it to get things done I will historically self-medicate because fibromyalgia can hurt. A lot. So, sure, I’ll try yoga and TENS units… but that isn’t enough.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-24 02:56 am (UTC)