(no subject)

		it takes two



i remember long ago
	so many years past
	in another lifetime
     we laid together
	spilling secrets
		into the night
    tears dripped from your chin
		and mine
	my heart broke
			over and over again
because i cheated on you
	i slept with another
    and felt that you deserved to know the truth
				my indiscretion 

you cried
	and yelled
		and felt betrayed
	each of your movements
		a pinprick in my heart
			by the end
			you could see the darkness pouring through 
				like daylight through a window

weeks passed and we built towards forgiveness
	but you held this over me
	this big black mark against us
	and how it was my fault

	through my guilt i accepted the role
			      assumed the role of villain
			let you play the victim
			let this inequality continue to create pinpricks
		and we soldiered on
			finding a new safety in this place
				a new comfort

	(but the truth is 
			i never felt comfortable 
                                           or safe
i just played the part
		improvisation off your mercurial nature)

until one day
	in the mountains of colorado
	you let slip a secret
		an untruth you’d told long enough
					that you nearly believed it to be true

	your fidelity
	was a lie

gallons of tears
	hours of fighting
		innumerable moments of misery
and you
      cheated
      too

while i was honest
	bathing in my guilt
	in the guilt you heaped upon me
you simply bit your lip
	and chose disinformation
		pointing towards me
		all the while you were pointing in a mirror

	i     was    never    your    mirror.

-----------------
This was written for LJ IDOL 9 Week 18 Topic: Disinformation

This was not an easy one to get ahold of, but I did it. On time even.

Hear and see me read it here:

Watch on YouTube

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