LJ mini Idol Dreamwidth edition, Week 6: Not my first rodeo

[eeyore_grrl]

		your first rodeo

today you walk the halls of crazy
relearning how to trust the world around you
re-finding yourself in a mess of messiness
it is so new and so scary
i can't express how sorry I am that you are here
another body in the hallways of ghosts and second guessing

i don't know your particular flavor of crazy
your room in this game of mirrors is decorated differently than mine
my malfunction is my own and yours yours

but look around these rooms
these hallways, both metaphorical and real,

you are not alone

we are your friends and your family
and while this may be your first rodeo
i've ridden this bull a million times
and it gets easier
it gets better
you get easier and better in your own mind and body

you learn to heal

you will find new ways to manage your fears and worries
learn to lasso the wildness inside you back into a submission that you feel safe with
you'll figure out when it's okay to yell yee-ha 
and when you should keep the words a bit quieter

you'll learn which meds are the rodeo clowns
protecting you from danger
which ones will lull the beasts to sleep
and which ones awaken new nightmares that whimper and walk on foal legs
attempting to gain purchase in your mind
you learn the tricks of the crazy-trade by looking the stallion in the eyes 
	how to work with your steed
this is not my first rodeo
and it's probably not your last
but you are not alone and we will hold your hand through it all

And see me read it here:

"your first rodeo" (Watch on YouTube)

You can vote here: https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1013689.html

Comments

[murielle]

This is lovely. Painful, but hopeful there is a lot of generosity and comfort in these words. Well done!

[eeyore_grrl]

Thanks. We're all really hopeful about the current situation.

[adoptedwriter]

So much feeling in this.

[eeyore_grrl]

Yeah. I'm glad it came through.

[jenwithapen]

HO-LEEE-FREAKIN-CRIPES. YOU PEOPLE ARE K-I-L-L-I-N-G ME!

I can't show you the brilliance in this because I'd be throwing it ALL back at you! Some of these things are just so amazing, though, I just canNOT.

i don't know your particular flavor of crazy
your room in this game of mirrors is decorated differently than mine
my malfunction is my own and yours yours

HOLY. The stanza before it was equally mind blowing.

Heaven's sake, woman. I just said to the last person I read, something like, "I loved this so much, I wish we were best friends," and as much as I hate to repeat myself, shoot!

[eeyore_grrl]

Aww thank you so much. :-) You are awesome!

[tonithegreat]

This is great! Cheers to better days for you.

[eeyore_grrl]

Thanks.

[bellatrixe]

I really felt the emotion in this - the words and your performance! <3

(Also, your cat is adorable <3)

[kehlen.livejournal.com]

I am sorry if you mean it literally, if someone close to you is going through the first steps of harnessing their 'beast'.

But I love the feeling of togetherness and understanding and support that your poem evokes.

[dmousey]

What Kehlen said is perfect! I've stared 'into the belly of the beast' a time or two... It's good to know you're not alone. ✌😊**hug**

[bewize]

I was truly engaged in this. Well done.

[halfshellvenus]

There are so many stunning lines in this, but one of my favorite passages was,

another body in the hallways of ghosts and second guessing
i don't know your particular flavor of crazy
your room in this game of mirrors is decorated differently than mine

It's such a hard place to be, but I feel the hope and encouragement and compassion here, and they make SUCH a difference. *hugs*

[fausts_dream]

I guess this is my 5th season give or take. And I have always thought...we are all so damaged.

Yet, there is love here. Thank you.

[the_eternal_overthinker]

Very inspiring and I can actually re-read it every time I am feeling low...Well done! Kudos! loved it.