Survivor Challenge 3 -- Smash and Grab

[eeyore_grrl]

                  smash & grab

smash & grab
anything that you can see
listen to your heartbeat
is it there
do you live or do you flee

smash & grab
crazy pills 
here to solve all your ills
tested on puppy mills
is it me

smash & grab
to the start 
find your way
find your heart
find the exit key

my aim is smooth
my aim is true
but you have stolen
one last view
of me leaving you
you must believe to see

smash & grab
take my heart
run it through your fucking lab
let me start again
a future without you
	 without my soul
like october dropping leaves
	(alone)

i am nothing
	you are nothing
smash & grab
listen to my footsteps
heartless 
	fading
can’t you see?




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Comments

[gunwithoutmusic]

I loved the rhythm in this, and how the first few stanzas fit this quick sort of lock-step with the flow, and then right as you say "let me start again" that staccato sort of unravels. It feels like suddenly I'm going in a new direction and was very effective in making me feel it. Good work!

[eeyore_grrl]

Thank you!! The idea was the unraveling of a relationship. I've had the sort of all-encompassing "love" of teenaged crushes and early relationships, but this isn't about anyone real. I can mush all the hurt into one. Ahh, the power of poetry.

And the rhyming worked -- it is so rare for me to rhyme and I do it, typically, to show the boredom in my repetition or when I am pissed beyond all belief.

It's an odd combo. :-/