eeyore_grrl | (no subject)


		To Build a Better Mousetrap


CHEESE!

SNAP!
CRACK!

and that’s how it goes
	the basic mechanic of the mousetrap
		for so very long

and people still ask
		how to make it better
	 tinkering in basements and garages
		with wood and plastic and steel

it’s a question for the ages
	a dilemma for the masses
		a…  a… you know… a conundrum 

how on earth can we catch the mouse?

we’ve tried building houses of wood and stone
	but the mice keep finding ways in
	finding holes and nooks and hollow walls

we’ve tried cats
	but sometimes they don’t work
		befriending rodents and ignoring their trespass

we’ve tried poisoning their food and water
	but that lends to a dangerous game
	so close to our own supply

and we’ve tried the trap
	the basic trap
		(cheese, snap, crack!)
	and it works alright, but so much more can clearly be done

we keep trying to find the more
we tinker in garages and basements
	fiddle with metal and plastic and wood 
	design mechanisms that kill or capture
	things that flip and crunch and lie in wait
	
	we keep building
	fighting the good fight

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This was written for LJ Idol season 9. Read more at http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/726388.html?mode=reply#add_comment.

Voting link will be updated here later. VOTE HERE! TRIBE THREE! http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/728057.html

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nicely done. Cheese, Snap, Crack was pretty much the only thing that ended up working for us a couple of years ago.

There is a reason we haven't made it much better since then...

fighting the good fight

I am amused by this line - usually see it used for major conflict, or at least something profound - seeing it here kind of makes me giggle.

This isn't one of my more serious poems. I wasn't sure about the ending, but I do like it I think.

Lovely - I enjoy the progress of this.

Thanks, I tried to get the idea of the repetition of the action, the attempted building, without being overly repetitive in a fairly short poem.

A nice poem there..:) good job!

Thanks!